


I'm Nuts, Baby I'm Mad

by aidaninkling (PsychoTheCupcake)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 'Cause that's how I roll, Businessman Draco, Dirty Talk, Lucius Malfoy's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mechanic Harry, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex on a Car, Shameless Smut, These Tags Are So Random, maybe there's a little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoTheCupcake/pseuds/aidaninkling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was common knowledge that while Mr Harry Potter was one of the wealthiest businessmen in the country, he was also a recluse who, at the age of 25, rarely left his woodland estate to make a public appearance. Draco had been lucky to secure this invitation to meet the great Harry Potter at all, he reminded himself, although it sounded more like his father’s voice than his own. | Shameless PWP</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Nuts, Baby I'm Mad

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this one-shot a month ago as a thank you to all you faithful readers of my multi-chapter fic for being so patient and supportive even though I suck at updates, and yeah.
> 
> Obviously, I suck at updates.
> 
> I'll be updated Stuck again soon, and things are really gonna pick up, but I really felt like writing some smut tonight. So here. A PWP. With a little plot. Maybe. If you squint.
> 
> Title from Mad Hatter by the wonderful Melanie Martinez. Just happened to be what I was listening to when I needed a title. Sort of fits. Maybe. If you squint.
> 
> P.S. Should probably note there's quite a bit of profanity in here. Probably no more than Stuck, actually. I have a dirty mouth. And mind. Forgive me.

* * *

“Right this way, Mr Malfoy. Please take a seat in the library, Mr Potter will be with you shortly.”

Draco nodded stiffly but the door had already clicked shut behind him. Potter’s library was large but warm, all dark woods and deep reds. It was two stories tall, spiral staircases leading up to the wrap-around balcony cum loft. The bookcases were arranged in such a way that Draco couldn’t make out the ends of the room without venturing further in, so he really had no idea how large it really was.

 _Perfect for a crazed shut-in_ , Draco thought irritably.

It was common knowledge that while Mr Harry Potter was one of the wealthiest businessmen in the country, he was also a recluse who, at the age of 25, rarely left his woodland estate to make a public appearance. As such, the size of the house really should not have come as a surprise, but Draco couldn’t help but gape for a moment when it finally came into view.

Nestled amongst a cluster of closely knit trees, the only clue to the fact that that one had reached the house was that the gravel driveway ended. The residence was enormous, yet it blended into its natural surroundings effortlessly. Carefully treated woods matched the surrounding forest, while large glass windows somehow failed to impose on the natural setting. Many an eco magazine had raved about the home’s state-of-the-art sustainability, but none had ever managed to photograph it, despite Potter’s clear intentions to turn global warming on its head. His business ventures spoke quite loudly on that matter.

And Draco was the lucky bastard who had to convince him otherwise or face more than just his father’s massive carbon footprint.

Draco sighed and placed his briefcase on one of the plush armchairs before wandering over to a random bookcase. He had been lucky to secure this invitation to meet the great Harry Potter at all, he reminded himself, although it sounded more like his father’s voice than his own. That seemed to be happening more frequently with every passing day.

Draco frowned, turning restlessly to survey the room again. At its heart stood a massive desk, its top bare but for a handful of books and a reading lamp. It was doubtful Potter would keep anything of personal interest in such a public space, but Draco was bored, so he started snooping.

Besides, the man was an anomaly.

Potter had inherited his father’s company when he was a boy, following the death of both of his parents on the same night. Numerous advisers kept it going until he reached majority, and he spent three years after his 18th birthday playing the golden boy the press had always said he’d be. He made gossip-worthy appearances in public, had his pick of women - and men, attended all the right parties and grand openings. He was the world’s most eligible bachelor.

Then, suddenly, four years ago on his 21st birthday, Harry Potter dropped off the radar.

Draco had just turned 22 last week. He recalled the extravagant do his parents had held “in his honor” - if they managed to secure a couple more business contacts and flaunt their wealth to competitors, it was purely by chance, of course. Draco had stood on one of the secluded balconies overlooking the cavernous ballroom, watching the proceedings, wondering what would have happened if he had done as Potter once did and just not pitched to his farce of a party.

He wanted to think his parents wouldn’t even have noticed, but he knew they would, if for the wrong reasons.

_Nothing._

The desk drawers were empty. Draco felt on edge, and checked his watch.

20 minutes. He had been waiting 20 minutes.

Draco grit his teeth and breathed through his nose. Potter was stalling, obviously, it’s what businessmen did to win the upper hand when the adversary was in their territory. Draco had danced this dance many a time, but he was working himself up, and the library was too quiet.

His father would tell him to stay put. Take a seat, maybe pick up a book of some import to browse through as Potter arrived, just to let him know how little the man’s absence had bothered him.

Yes, that’s definitely what his father would say.

Draco glanced at the door. 20 minutes wasn’t even that long. He probably had another 20 before Potter showed.

 _Stay put_ , his father’s voice growled.

“Suck it, old man,” Draco muttered, and slipped out.

He was just taking a quick look around.

What’s the worst that could happen?

* * *

“How appropriate that the environmental fiend would be a motorhead,” Draco muttered to himself as he peered through the driver’s window of a shiny red Ferrari.

Draco’s investigations had yielded him a look through two bathrooms, a small sitting room, a covered outdoor kitchen and a guest bedroom - all tastefully decorated, of course, with a great view, but no tasty insight into character. No _Potter_.

If you asked, Draco would tell you that an insatiably curious spirit and the will to discover the great mysteries of the universe kept him wandering until he ended up in what appeared to be a massive auto workshop overflowing with the most beautiful and varied vehicles Draco had ever had the pleasure of seeing in one place.

But since you didn’t ask, he was lost.

“We all have our vices,” Draco jumped as a deep voice carried out of nowhere. He spun around but there was no one behind him, only a monstrous black Land Rover with dark tinted windows.

“Around here,” the voice spoke again, quiet but strong despite its seeming disembodiment.

Draco tread carefully around the back of the SUV, finding a man bent over the front of a dark blue Mustang. The hood obscured a large deal of Draco’s vision of the speaker, but he could make out one muscled forearm smudged with grease. Were it any other day, any other place, Draco might have stopped to admire Potter’s mechanic further. As it were, he had been gone long enough that even with Potter’s stall tactics, someone was going to notice his absence soon. He would claim to have lost his patience and left early, but he had left his briefcase in the library, and while Potter was many things, Draco was willing to bet he was not an idiot.

“Uh, hi,” Draco cleared his throat, trying to sound officious, “Would you mind pointing me in the direction of the library?”

The man under the hood snorted and lifted one finger to the ceiling above him. Draco took a step forward, before grabbing a hold of his temper and clenching his teeth. He didn’t have time for this.

“Yes, I know it’s upstairs, you impertinent bastard, I’m going to need a little more direction than that to navigate this behemoth some call a house,” Draco snapped.

A deep chuckle carried from under the hood. “And why, exactly, _are_ you navigating this behemoth all on your own?”

Draco could _hear_ the mocking in the man’s voice, and he bristled despite himself. Just what was the man accusing him of? Sneaking around?

I mean, he was, but where did a mechanic get off pointing it out?

“I got lost trying to find a bathroom, if you _must_ know.”

“There’s one two doors down from the library.”

“Maybe I went the other way -” God, why was he arguing with this man? Focus, Malfoy! “Listen, as much as I’d _love_ to stay and chat, I’ve got a meeting to get to. My name is Draco -”

“Malfoy, yes.” One hand reached up and slammed the hood shut, revealing the man until recently hidden beneath it. “Is that the time already?”

God, the impertinent bastard was built. Draco watched as he wiped his large hands on a tattered cloth, doing precious little to get rid of the grease smeared over most of his person. Draco couldn’t help but follow the dark smudges over his defined forearms, biceps that looked like they could crush Draco without so much as a thought, broad shoulders that Draco could imagine sinking his teeth into, abs that looked like they were chiselled from the kind of rock Draco would not mind running his tongue over, leading down to a tantalising trail of dark hair disappearing into low-slung jeans-

Draco snapped his eyes back up to the man’s face. His green eyes were dark, but amused, his lips quirked ever so slightly. His black hair was a mess, hanging down in strands past his ears. It nearly reached his shoulders now, actually, and he was missing the black-rimmed glasses he’d become known for four years ago, but it took Draco three seconds to realize who he was looking at now that he’d stopped ogling the man’s body.

Harry Potter.

Fuck.

“Mr Potter.” He did _not_ stutter.

Potter’s lips quirked again, but this time the half-smile didn’t seem as amused. “Unfortunately.”

Draco cleared his throat. _You’re a Malfoy, you can do this. Pretend they never caught you in a lie and they’ll feel too awkward to insist they did._ “I’m here on behalf of my father to discuss the terms of a lucrative partnership he would like to extend to -”

“Straight to business, huh?” Potter muttered under his breath, walking past Draco to inspect - well, _something_ on the back of the car. Draco tried not to twitch.

“Yes, of course, that _is_ why I’m here.”

“And here I thought it was to snoop around and check me out,” Potter smirked, striding over absentmindedly before coming to a halt right in front of Draco.

 _Right_ in front of him.

_Oxygen, Draco._

“I was _not_ checking you out.”

Potter grinned.

“ _Or_ snooping. If it’s not too much trouble, Potter, I’m here to negotiate the terms of our agreement, so if you’d -”

“Oh, so now we have an agreement?” Potter raised an eyebrow.

“If you have any sense left, yes. I am perfectly aware of your penchant for saving the world and its beloved furry inhabitants, but business is business, and -”

“Mr Malfoy,” Potter cut in swiftly, calmly, as he pulled a tattered cloth from the back of his jeans and wiped his hands, “Since we’re speaking plainly, allow me to make myself clear.”

He tossed the rag aside and Draco took an involuntary step back, only to find himself sandwiched between man and car. Potter’s eyes remained fixed on him, steady, unyielding, honest, as he spoke.

“I have spent a great deal of my life dancing to other people’s tunes. Your father is quite clearly the sort of man who enjoys having other people do his bidding.” He wiggled the fingers of his partly clean hand in the air next to Draco’s ear. “Watching his puppets dance.”

“I am _not_ a puppet,” Draco snapped.

One side of Potter’s mouth quirked up, and Draco bristled at the idea that he was being laughed at. “No - not a very well behaved one, anyway, but I’m sure you’ll get a proper talking to from Daddy when you get home and be set straight again.”

Potter turned his back on him, then, a clear dismissal, and Draco realized he had lost the deal.

Well, then. Can’t get any worse, right?

Potter was midstride when Draco grabbed onto him. Draco was slighter than he was; toned from years of martial arts training aimed at ridding him of his pent-up rage and aggression, but still lacking the bulk Potter had against him.

What Draco did have, however, was the element of surprise, and the know-how to use the man’s weight against him.

Draco had Potter pressed up against the hood of his beast of a car before he could blink. One of Draco’s forearms was wedged against Potter’s neck, using his entire body as leverage as he leaned over the larger man where he lay against the cold steel.

Potter, for his part, looked surprised for a moment - not many people assaulted him in his own home, Draco guessed, but Draco wasn’t most people.

Then, Potter grinned, leaning up into Draco’s arm despite the fact that their faces were practically two inches apart already.

“So kitty has claws after all,” he murmured.

“Fuck you,” Draco snarled, leaning closer.

If you asked, Draco would blame his lapse in concentration on his mindless rage, but Potter bucked up, Draco blinked, and then he was pressed against the hood with Potter’s hands on either side of his head and one of his legs pressed against a rather intimate part of his anatomy. He was hard, had been for a while, and Potter’s smirk said he left it.

He also wasn’t hiding his own reaction pressed up against Draco’s thigh.

“If you insist,” Potter growled, and Draco grabbed onto his shoulders before leaning up and biting his bottom lip.

Hard.

The kiss was brutal, as Draco had hoped it would be. Teeth clashed as Potter's tongue swept into Draco's mouth with the same confidence with which he'd been invading Draco's personal space since they first met. Potter kissed like he _owned_ him, and Draco couldn't remember why that was a bad thing when one of Potter's hand grabbed hold of his ass and ground his hardness against Draco's own.

Draco pulled back for air and Potter immediately latched onto his neck, sucking a bruise into the pale skin just below Draco's ear as he wrestled with the high-collared shirt and tie standing between him and more skin. Draco was about to reprimand him - _his father was going to see that, how could he not, it was right there_ \- when Potter bit into his earlobe and tore his shirt open all at once, and Draco forgot what he was thinking about.

Sitting up, Draco shrugged off his jacket and shirt before reattaching his mouth to Potter's own as he reached for the man's jeans. Potter's fingers made quick work of Draco's fly and trailed over the front of Draco's pants as Draco tried to concentrate on popping Potter's row of buttons before shoving the denim down hurriedly. When his fingers came in contact with bare skin, he couldn't help but pull back and check that indeed, Potter was wearing nothing underneath. That was enough to have heat creeping up the back of Draco's neck, but that wasn't what had him wondering where all the air had suddenly disappeared to.

The thing is, Potter was _huge_. Again, the size of him should hardly have come as a surprise - considering the size of everything else on him - but Draco could do nothing but drop to his knees and run the tip of his tongue along the length of Potter's shaft before gripping the base and swallowing the head in one go.

“Jesus Christ, Draco, _fuuuck,_ ” Potter groaned, one hand weaving into blonde hair as the other rested on the hood behind Draco. His fingers tightened as Draco swirled his tongue over the soft skin, and Draco felt his eyes slip shut as he took Potter deeper. Giving head was something he had always enjoyed, not that he admitted it to anyone but himself - and even then, very rarely - but Potter was a special treat. He felt hot and heavy and silky on Draco's tongue, and Draco moaned as he imagined what the monster would feel like stretching him open. He bobbed up and down the length of Potter's erection a couple times before sinking down on it, his nose nuzzling black curls as he felt Potter slip down his throat. He couldn't breathe, but Draco held it, swallowing around Potter's girth twice before pulling back and gasping in lungfuls of air. Strings of saliva connected his swollen lips to the tip of Potter's dick, and Draco stroked the slick length as he glanced up at Potter through his eyelashes.

Potter gripped him tight and yanked him up, and Draco felt a moment of disappointment at having to let go of Potter's magnificent endowment before the man was pressing him into the front of his Mustang with a look that said Draco was _so fucked_.

In the best way.

Draco leaned back against the hood, panting even as his eyes sparkled and he teased: “What was that, dear?”

Harry growled, a low primal sound that had Draco’s dick twitching a second before he was flipped over and pressed to the car with one hand between his shoulder blades. “Cheeky bitch,” Potter growled into his ear, and Draco felt the shiver right to his bones.

“Yeah?” he murmured, turning his head slightly, “And what’re you going to do about it?”

In answer, Potter rid him of the last of his modesty before running one hand over Draco's exposed ass, digging his nails in just enough to have Draco hissing and pressing back against the other man before Potter stood up and walked away.

Draco had just enough time to lean up on his elbows before he felt Potter's warmth press against his back again and he sputtered. "What the - ?!"

"Lube, Malfoy," Potter chuckled, before his voice dropped an octave, "or did you want me to fuck you dry?"

Draco bit his lip and tried to stifle his moan, but Potter caught it and grinned against Draco's neck. " _Oh?_ "

"Oh what?!" Draco managed to snap before sucking in a breath at the feel of one cold, slick finger running down the crack of his ass.

"You do, don't you?" Potter purred, casually, as the roaming finger dipped between Draco's cheeks and rubbed a teasing circle around his entrance.

"I do- don't know what you're talking abo- ngh!" Draco bit his lip as the finger breached without warning, sinking in to the last knuckle.

"I saw the way you looked at my cock," Potter continued, "You like them big, don't you?"

He slipped another finger in alongside the first, the hand gripping Draco's forearm tightening sharply as Draco cried out at the combination of Potter's fingers inside him and his deep voice regaling all of Draco's dirtiest thoughts back at him. Draco had a major kink for a man with a dirty mouth, someone who liked to tell him all the debauched things Draco was going to let him do, and then making good on those promises.

It seemed, however, that despite his even tone, Potter himself was not unaffected.

"You're a little slut for it," Potter growled, his fingers relentless as they worked gently enough to tease Draco open but fast enough to keep it _just_ this side of comfortable. "You can't wait to feel me stretching you open, pushing your limits, can you?"

"Yes, yes, y- ah!" Draco dropped his forehead onto cool metal as Potter added a third finger, the stretch enough to burn slightly before Potter crooked his fingers _just so_ and Draco saw white.

"Oh _God_."

Potter chuckled, a breathless sound, leaning down to pant into Draco’s ear: “Call me Harry.”

Draco growled, twisting in Potter's arms until his fingers slipped free and Draco was seated on the hood of the Mustang with one leg wrapped around Potter's waist and a hand gripping the back of his neck.

“ _Harry_ ,” he snarled, “if you don’t fuck me right now I swear to God I’ll cut your dick off and do it myself.”

Harry ran one hand up the pale thigh not wrapped around him and yanked Draco's ass forward so fast that the blonde was on his back again when he felt Harry brush against his hole. Then blunt hardness was pressing insistently against him for a moment before the pressure gave way and Harry was sinking into him slowly but surely enough that Draco could do little but bite down on his lip as his fingertips found purchase on the top lip of the hood. It had been a while since he had let anyone have the pleasure of taking him, and never had they been so _much_. With every painstakingly slow inch he felt like Harry was filling up all the space he had left, and then just taking more anyway. It wasn't pleasure or pain, it was _intensity_ , and he could hardly breathe, even as Harry leaned over him and whispered his praise into Draco's ear.

"God, Draco, you're amazing - fuck, you're doing so well, you're doing perfectly - you're going to take it all, aren't you? You're going to take it all and _beg_ for more."

Then Potter was bottomed out, buried inside Draco to the root and pulling back just as slowly without missing a beat, before pushing back in. He gave Draco no time to recover, and Draco found he didn't want it.

"God, yes, look at you, wrapped around my cock like a pro, like my little  _slut_."

" _Fuck_ \- !" Draco bit his lip and dug his nails into Harry's back mercilessly, before lifting his hips to meet Harry's next thrust harshly. "Then fuck me!"

Harry growled and leaned back, standing up to his full height as he lifted Draco with a hand on each hip and started thrusting in earnest. Draco hooked one leg over Harry's shoulder, grasping his own neglected cock desperately as Harry knocked the breath out of him over and over. The man was brutal and merciless in his assault, tilting Draco's hips until he was beating against Draco's prostrate with every thrust. Draco threw his head back against the hard metal below him, one arm slung over his eyes as if it would help shield him from the onslaught and help him last longer.

"Fuck - Fuck - Fuck!"

Draco came hard, and without much warning, the build-up throwing him over the edge before he really saw it coming. He thought he might be screaming but he heard no sound other than Harry's groan as he pounded into Draco's spasming ass once, twice before spilling inside him with a grip on each hip that would surely bruise.

They stayed like that for a long moment, breathing harshly as Draco twitched with aftershocks, before Harry pulled out slowly, mouthing at the inside of Draco's calf in apology as he winced. Draco felt boneless, sprawled shamelessly on the front of Harry's Mustang covered in cum and sweat and not finding it within himself to care. It was as if time was holding its breath.

And then Draco's phone rang.

Harry stepped back, fished the ringing cell out of Draco's discarded trousers and tossed it to him. 

“You can go ahead and tell your father I’ll be happy to do business with him."

Draco caught it, reflexively, numbly, staring up at the flashing blue screen as it proclaimed _Father_. Well, he got the deal. That was good. What did he expect to get out of this, honestly? This was the best case scenario, he got a good fuck and a good deal, it was all great, really, he really shouldn't feel so dead inside -

“Or -" the voice carried through his mess of thoughts, "You could not, and come back to my bed instead.”

Draco kept his eyes fixed resolutely on the screen. He got the deal. He should take the deal. “I bet you say that to all the boys.”

Harry grabbed the hand not holding his phone and pulled Draco to his feet, spinning him around so his back was pressed to Harry's front as he found himself staring at their reflection in the black tinted windows of the Land Rover. His hair was sticking up all over the place, dark bruises littered his neck and collar bones, and he had smudges of grease marring his pale skin all over. He was a mess as much on the outside as he was on the inside.

“No,” Harry replied, “I don’t.”

This was reckless. He didn't even know the man. He didn't know anything about him, or whether they got along. His father would disown him, and then what?

Draco dropped his phone to the concrete floor with a resounding crack.

Then anything.

**Author's Note:**

> That moment when the sex scene is literally half the word count. My mother would be so proud.
> 
> Eh XD
> 
> Even I'm not sure that Harry isn't slightly crazy after all. But then so is Draco. It's kinda hot. I'll allow it.
> 
> For my Stuck fans, I'll be updating that soon. Like, within the week, probably. Stay tuned, shit's about to get interesting! XD


End file.
